Okay, so my previous wedding post was all about "everyone wants to know about the wedding and it is going so smoothly and easily that I have nothing to tell them."
Well, scratch that. I still don't have anything to tell people, but the freak out is definitely setting in. There is no one piece that is worrying me. I am absolutely certain that I want to be married to my partner and make a life and family together. I am not worried about how the wedding itself will go because I have done enough Full Moon Celebrations that I know that events come off easily when lightly planned. As a friend told me, the wedding is a success if you are married to the right person at the end of the day, nothing else matters. Completely true.
And yet, somehow, the sum of the parts is starting to bring on tremendous anxiety, and what is most worrying is that there is no particular thing that worries me, only a generalized sense of freak. I think I need to get my house in order, clean and organize some things that need it, and especially I need to refresh my personal altar. Perhaps then I will feel calmer.
I have a great support network and I have been talking to them about this. Mostly they say, well, yeah, weddings are a big deal, they are inherently stressful. But, really, can stress be this completely amorphous and non-localized to specific concerns? Bizarre.