So when the economic downturn hit, I said, "I'm not participating." I didn't want to be a part of that energy or a part of that self-fulfilling panic. And I had the savings to make it stick, honestly.
Well, now I am seeing with a little more distance. I have friends who were hit hard by the change of economic fortune winds. Friends who lost jobs or couldn't go anywhere in their companies, not even lateral transitions. Friends who did a little here and there, including working for parents who could still finagle payment, actively searching with their professional job skills and resumes, who spent months doing the best they could financially and wracking up debt while they tried to get their life back on a steady financial course. These were friends with impressive resumes, some with resumes of decades of impressive contract work, who struggled.
Now, it seems as if the friends who struggled the most got tossed a lifeline. Some are back to work. Others found the promotions or changes of scene that they really needed. I am very very happy for them. They went through a lot, and it was absolutely time or past time for something to happen for them.
Problem is, I am feeling like the next wave, and I am not alone. I am among those who were able to stave off problems. Well, now my cushion is depleted and my needs are increasing. I have been able to ride out the last couple of years, no big deal. Now, I need the economy to be functioning with opportunity and jobs. My mind is impressively trained, but my resume is all over the place. I have never had a professional position, nor am I sure that being "professional" would be the best venue for my skill set. In continuing to pursue lucrative self-employment (I decided today to call my employment status Ungainfully Self-Employed), I need potential new clients to have the cash in their budgets to pay me.
And in talking with others, I am not alone in having run out of safety net. I am not in freefall yet, but there seems to be an awful lot of yawning asphalt far beneath my balancing act. We shall see how it all comes out, but I have friends who have gone from paying down the principle on the mortgage to applying for food stamps, and friends who paid every bill on time every time who have declared bankruptcy. I have a fabulous support network and skills at manifesting, so I am affirming that everything will fall into place nicely. I am just getting quite nervous in the meantime.