(Date adjusted to when this should have been written, though I was quite late with it.)
I lost this week. I don't know quite where it went, but I have been on the equivalent of a juice fast for media. I have been playing mindless games on my computer instead of reading my now glutted blog subscriptions and webcomics. I haven't updated this or any of my other blogs. I've been hiding.
Or perhaps I have been processing something big, or maybe just brooding. A lot. Okay, whatever I have been doing, it has definitely included brooding. When I think about things, it all seems hard and complicated and panic-inducing. When I meditate and connect with the Divine, it all seems like it is toodling along just fine, I only need to hang on to the wooden slats on the sides of the little red wagon and enjoy the suburban scenery. But then I go back to mundane life and brooding.
Perhaps the brooding is reproduction-induced. The term (as I understand things) comes from chickens who want to hatch chicks. They get broody, as in moody and anti-social, and just want to sit around working on their eggs. Perhaps people get this way, too. It is hard to make a conscious choice to have kids. They are expensive and life transforming, rather like skydiving. Only more permanent. Perhaps brooding is only natural. Perhaps stopping life in order to brood is a necessary process of slipping cognitive gears in order to better adjust to an impending complete and utter paradigm shift.
Interesting note: Brooding is associated with female animals like broody hens and brood mares, but is coded masculine when referring to human activities. Its feminized human counterparts include fretting and worrying. Just thought I'd point that out.